Jeeeennnyyyy, you don' t have to put on that red light

We arrived in Amsterdam about midday and got straight into it - 1st stop - canal cruise. Our tour guide was Lisa and she was hilarious. She had the best Dutch accent - she rolled her R's... all of them, no matter where they were situated in the word. She loved saying the word "Sleezy" - "it's the type of word you don't need to know the meaning and you know what it means!" She didn't like much - the Dutch language was too gutteral, the political decisions in Holland were ridiculous, the architecture around Amsterdam - she said the 70's have a lot to answer for! She got a bit stressed with the older members of our group (that's 90%) who found it hard to follow instructions. "It's easy! - You just follow me! You are on coach number 3. So you are on boat number 3. There are other groups so stay with me. When we got on the boat, two people had gotten on the other boat and we had 4 extras that we didn't have on the bus! She also, with my assistance as the "RVO" had to save a few of the clueless old dears from being knocked down by bikes - standing cluelessly in the bike lane.

The only mode of transport in Amsterdam..... there are more bikes than there are people living here. There is no point in buying an expensive bike, because they are stolen all the time - our tour guide said that sure if was frustrating, but even more so when you have to go all the way home to get your bolt cutters and then go back in order to steal a bike to replace yours! She said it is the way it is and a common thing to do.

After leaving the tour group and heading off on our own, with another couple, and wandered around on our own.... now when you're in Amsterdam and you haven't been there before - it's fairly common to want to go and have a little look at the Red Light District..... sure it's seedy, sure is sleezy, but it's also a great way to feel a whole lot better about yourself really quickly!

Now when you're travelling with your mother, you do have to ask yourself if this is the best idea... but in a group, in day light, we decided that it was safe enough and that we all had to have a look. Clearly not people who seek out ladies of the night frequently, not even in the day - we had to ask for a bit of direction.... one lady thought it was very comical and was happy to point us the right way. We passed a few window and there were ladies of all shapes and sizes offering their wares. Jen was ooing and arring and then we came across a plumper lady who was looking a little worse for wear. She had darned holes in her fishnets and was sort of slumped, looking bored on her stool. Jen stopped and said to us, "Well, you could make an effort, couldn't you?" I'm actually surprised that she didn't tap on the window and give her a bit of grooming advice.