There's one in every crowd!

We were on a tour of Wurzberg and had to ditch our tour guide, but this time - through no fault of the guide.... this time it was a matter of getting away from one of the tourists! There is a lady on board - let's call her "F" who thinks she's a bit 'posh' - declining dinner offers from people based on how they eat (this wasn't us I'll just add, but she told us that she had to say no to another couple because they were "all knives and forks" when they ate! But I'm sorry, there's nothing posh about pissing in teh bushes behind the petrol station! She thought she was being all carefree and down with the commoners - but she only let herself down. So today on the tour the guide, a very nice man with good humour told us a fact about a building and F said "Yes, I read that!" to which the guide replied "Oh, did you?" F replied quite defensively, "Yes, we Australian can read you know!" So the TG said something else - another fact then turned to her and said "Did you read about that as well?" GAME ON!!!! So as the group shuffles around the grounds of a beautiful palace F is bitching to anyone who will listen - "He was treating me like a child" "I won't be taken for a fool!" "I won't have people talk down to us" "My children are very well behaved!" (???) People slowly moving away from her and she would have had no idea that she had offended anybody. Another gorgeous lady came up to me and said "Did you hear what happened? I want to tell the TG that F doesn't represent all of us......" Oh the political drama of it all..... hence Jen and I took off on our own!

Wurzberg - just for a bit of interesting architectural information for you - was mostly destroyed just after the war ended - Winston Churchill ordered the bombing and the job was done in 27 minutes - out of spite and revenge! The town was rebuilt in the Baroque style - as with everything in this part of Europe! In fact, I'm completely Baroqued out - I may smack the next person who tells me that something was destroyed by fire and rebuilt in the Baroque style.

PEGS..... you know - PEGS!!!

There was a German lesson on this morning, but we decided not to attend - more fool us - never before had we needed to speak German that today when we wanted to buy some pegs! Luckily, as you know, I am a master mimer and coupled with Jen's technique of just speaking English to the non-English speaking people - we managed to make quite a scene..... which left the lady in the supermaket with a dinstinctly blank look on her face. I was miming the washing of the clothes, the stringing up of the line, then the all important pegging.... all the while Jen was saying "Pegs, you know..... pegs" - We're a great team! We found the pegs ourselves in the end.

The Venice of Germany - Bamberg

Bamberg is a beautiful, medieval town - uneven cobblestoned streets, crooked buildings and colourful flower boxes in every window. They call Bamberg the Venice of Germany but really it has a river that runs through it and lots of bridges rather than canals - I mean Birmingham has more canals!

Our guide showed us through - surprise surprise - another church and inside was a statue of a man on a horse. She said it was very famous and everyon in Bamberg knows about the statue. However, nobody knows it is on the horse nor the significance of the statue.... she said, quite mysteriously, "It remains a secret to today" - Surely it ceases to be a secret if nobody knows it???

1, 2, 3 and she's down for the count!

This is how i feel.

It has finally beaten me. I've had a tickly throat since the first day on board and then the nose starting running. It stopped for a day whilst Jen had some symptoms - then last night it hit me and I couldn't sleep and then then morning - it felt like I'd woken up with an elephant on my face. I was due to join a group of bike riders for a bike tour this morning in Wertheim, but instead we went in search of the nearest apothokery for drugs. I had the lovely lady at the front desk write down all my symptoms in German so I didn't have to mime when I got there, but luckily we found an English speaking pharmicist and she gave me one of everything. We sailed at midday and so we weren't missing anything else on shore, but I spent the day in bed in and out of sleep. Everybody on board has been hit with something or other. I'm keeping myself to myself today so that I can be presentable for my birthday dinner tomorrow night at the Portobello's restaurant (the speciality Italian restaurant on board)

sniff sniff, cough!

The only flooding in Bamburg

We were told on our tour this morning that it never floods in Bamburg..... well, we have a different tale to tell! Early this morning, I woke up and went to the ladies - as you do and it wouldn't flush - well, it's not a flush toilet, it's a sort of vacuum type that they have on boats. I tried a couple of times and nothing, but it did make a terrible gurgling sound. Eventually the contents disappeared, but it was still gurgling. I pressed the button a few times as any good lay person plumber would do, but nothing! So, I sat on the closed toilet lid whilst drying my hair and water started gushing out of the toilet - GUSHING! Just a small potential electricutian problem.... I called reception and the little lady down there - who appears to have only worked onboard for about 5 minutes said that she would call the engineer. I reiterated that it was GUSHING. 5 minutes of gushing later, still nothing - Jen raced to the corridor and found Eva, our cabin steward and called her in - she raced down to the get help and then returned with towels and the apparent knowledge that if you press the button enough times, it will eventually stop. Eva didn't look happy - and nor should she have! Jen and I left her to deal with the flooding and headed for breakfast. We asked the little lady what was going to happen with the engineer and she said that she had called him and he was just waking up! Thank goodness for Eva and her plumbing knowhow! When we came back from breakfast - it was like nothing had happened - chocolates were purchased and placed upon our bed for Eva.

Frushoppen in Kelheim

I don't know if I have the name of this event correct and I'm sure that my German pronounciation and spelling is wrong - but I'll press on.

These are the lovely people that we've bonded with onboard - Suzanne, Marg, Bruce (B1), Marilyn, Geoff, Heather, Lyn and Bruce (B2)

On Sunday - traditionally in Germany, they have a "Frushoppen" which is their version of a Sunday BBQ. You eat German sausage and drink beer - but it all has to be done before noon. I'm not sure exactly why and when I asked Tanna, our Cruise Director, she told me it's because the sausages are not good after noon and if you eat it after noon, then people know you are a not German. I've had one after noon and it tasted pretty damn good to me - and I don't care that people know I'm not German - in fact, I welcome the knowledge - so bring on the afternoon snags!

As always when alcohol and old people are combined - a conga line is formed!

Rockwiz

Jen and myself being extremely civilized with a little champas on the balcony before dinner

Last night was the big ship Rock Quiz. Our group of friends made up a group of 10 and all day they were telling me that they'd be relying on my knowledge of music. I was a little embarrassed to say that I have no knowledge of music past the early 90's.... I know what I like - but I can't always tell you who sings it. Luckily we had our very own Miff Warberg in the shape of Bruce, who knew everything within the first couple of bars..... and what he didn't know - Jen did. And luckily all the music was from the post war era (just) - we thought we were a sure thing - but in the end we lost by 1 miserable point. Also between every question one or all of your group had to get up and dance... at first we nominated a couple of ladies who were very happy to undertake this challenge, but by the end - we were all up there shaking our groove thang.

Naturally - as on any good cruise ship with musical entertainment a conga line formed - and as usual - hilarity ensued.

Nuremberg - Don't mention the War!!!

Nuremberg had just had a huge musical festival where people camped out - similar to Glastonbury or BDO I guess..... and the city is still cleaning up the mess that the "kids" left there - tents, chairs, bikes, rubbish, rubbish and more rubbish. It was disgusting. Also the security fences were all still up so I couldn't help but feel that Nuremberg wasn't quite ready for the 4 bus loads of people that were coming to see Hitler's rally grounds and surrounding touristy things. The gasps of the people on the bus were of horrific proportions.

Jen with a bit of chewy on her shoe!

Seeing the podium where Hitler made his speaches from during the rallies was really creepy - a big fence stopped us from getting a realistic picture of how many people could have filled the area and how many he spoke to - but it was a bit creepy just knowing that Adolf himself had stood where we were standing.

After the last couple of tour guides not being terribly interesting we decided to give this one a 1o minute window to impress and if she didn't come up with the goods, we'd go off on our own - however - the whole tour was done by coach and we couldn't get off until the very end when it was free time anyway - only 30 minutes to look around, buy a fridge magnet and back to the bus. You certainly do see some things on these trips - but you sometimes feel like you're being herded!

Riding along on your push bike honey

Here is the lovely Scenic Emerald which was moored in a little town of Kelheim when we returned from Passau. It had to stop there because it couldn't get into Regensberg and not a bad change at all because this village is just gorgeous. We grabbed some bikes from the ship and explored the town and along the river.

This is the town centre of the walled village. This archway is about a billion years old.

This is the little pub where we had a pint - mid bike ride.

This shows the water level is so high that they needed to use another gangplank - normally, they wouldn't need the top one.


My beautiful Jenny blending in with the flowers.

Dear Sonja, Please shut up, from The Bus

I want Sonja, our tour guide for our trip to Passau to shut the hell up! I'm writing this on the bus and she hasn't stopped talking since we got onboard. She's repeating herself and really she's just talking for the sole purpose of hearing her own voice! After an hour and 5 mintues (Jen is counting) of solid numeric facts about Bavaria - dates and years even her phone number (that she said quite quickly and not that anyone had anything to write it down on or with and blah blah blah she finally put the microphone down and then we were treated to.... no, not silence so we could relax and enjoy the beautiful scenery, but some traditional Bavarian folk music - drinking music to be exact - the sort that makes you automatically raise your hand as if you are holding a stein and then through no control of your own you sway your arm back and forth vigourously. I wanted to text Sonja - Dear Sonja, please shut up - from the bus!

Once we got to Passau she showed us around and was as dull as she was on the bus, so a little group of us broke away and went on our own adventure.

A little alley way we found to get around the flooding - but it turned out to be someone's lane way!

Jen trying to find different and unique ways to get across the flooded streets.

Me and Jen - doing it Passau Style

Some beautiful window boxes - a common sight here in passau

A well earned Bavarian beer after our walking adventure

The slow road to Bad Abbach

OMG! Amidst volcano eruptions and BA planes being grounded due to staff strikes and Jen "misplacing' her credit cards on the eve of our departure, our lovey Travel Agent said "A trip without dramas is unheard of"

So I told you we got Melk Abbey - after looking around and having what can only be described as a school lunch in a school lunch room - (3 long tables for 160+ people in a hot airless room - oh the joys of travelling in a big group!!!) we hopped back on the coach for our 4 hour journey to our new boat in Regensberg - or so we thought..... We didn't anticipate the huge traffic jam on the motorway complete with police and ambulances nor did we consider the Lock Master not allowing the ship to moor in Regensberg because of the high water.... instead we were to travel a "little further" up the river to get past the worst of the flooding. We had word that the boat had moved but neither the river nor the tour guide had any idea where we were going which prompted a barrage comments and suggestions from the passengers as to which way the driver should go which must have been terribly helpful to the German speaking driver! the guide laughed nervously as she tried to appease people but her laughter turned into a sort of manic hysteria when the bus turned into a tiny narrow lane that got smaller and smaller...... Finally, the roar from the bus load of over tired people could have been heard from miles around as The Emerald came into sight - moored in a little back water canal in Bad Abbach. Foreheads were wiped, breath was exhaled. Our 4 hour journey was over - in 6!

We were due to go to Saltzberg the next day, but because we had moved so far up river the day trip would have been a 4 hour trip - one way!!! We opted for the much closer day trip to Passau - apparently (Jen just read) that there is a handmade hat shop there and you never know when you'll need one of those.

The Veteran Retrieval Officer

Melk Abbey

We arrived at Melk Abbey and there's a mad scramble for the toilet. 15 bus loads of people = 4 toilets + no paper...... we held on! So we assembled at the designated assembly area and waited for the brave people who actually lined up with the 100s of others in the toilet. Have a little guess who was the last to arrive in our group? We spotted the lady in waiting wandering in the wrong direction towards a sea of 100s of people. I raced over to get her and guide her back the group. I've now been given the title of "Veteran Retrieval Officer". I've also saved another elderly lady from being hit by a car in Prague - you've got to keep your eyes open with these adventurous people!

This is neither of the ladies in the story - but this is what I'm dealing with - how gorgeous is this lady in the conga line?

2 Old Dears........

There are two old dears on board - one looks like the queen and the other, her sister, looks like her lady in waiting. Bless them they are completely oblivious to anything or anyone around them. They are hunched over and they just put their heads down and plough throught the crowd jostling everybody out of the way. Getting on and off the bus is a constant source of entertainment. They sit down, they get up, then the one in the window seat wants to get something from the overhead compartment so the one sitting in the aisle seat has to get up and let the other one out and they're holding on for dear life as the bus is careering around corners and down hills, then the one sitting in the window has got her camera down and is trying to get a good position for a photo - an opportunity that has long past back when she was getting her camera down..... she finally realises that the thing she wanted to snap has actually disappeared and the dance is continued in reverse - back she shuffles up the aisle back to her seat, the camera goes away up in the overhead compartment.... and so on! It is like an accident (waiting to happen) you can't look away! You could hear the muffled voices around us saying "For God's sake - Sit the hell down!" We probably missed quite a bit of lovely scenery just watching these two old dears!

Vienna - Melk - Ragensberg - with any luck!

Flooded footpath

If only one of us (Brown girl family member) were travelling on our own, I'm sure that it would have just kept raining or perhaps they may have run out of our favourite cheese or something fairly insignificant like that, but because there are two of us travelling together the power of the Brown Curse TM. is stronger and instead the river Danube has flooded and therefore too dangerous to pass through the locks and to high to go under the bridges. The Danube Lock Police have closed everything down and all boat traffic has been stopped!




Naturally it's the highest rainfall they've had and the highest river level in 50 years!!! Thousands of works of art were being removed from cellars in Vienna in case they were damaged. Roads and walking paths along the Danube were all flooded, 3-4 metres above the normal water level.




So - we packed our bags and said goodbye to the Scenic Ruby (our home for only 4 days), boarded a coach and headed upstream past the worst of the flooding to where the River would be open again - luckily, this is also where another Scenic boat had stopped, not being able to go any further in the opposite direction. The Ruby's sister ship is called The Emerald and we will be swapping ships with those passengers in the evening - after a marathon bus ride. The Emerald is a year older than the Ruby and there have been a myriad of complaints for the older, whingier people about the Emerald not being as good etc... We took our cruise director - Tanna - who is fabulous, but we sadly leave behind all the other crew members. It's funny how you become a little attached. We loved George, our waiter on the Ruby. He made us laugh with his Hungarian accented stories about how he'd personally cooked our meals and personally went out into the fields that morning to pick the mushrooms for meal that he'd prepared for us that night, etc.... He didn't cook the cake, but he knew the lady who did. He was funny and everybody loved him. You could tell this - on the last night on the Ruby, all of the crew were introduced to us and when George's name was called out - everybody clapped louded and whooped and he did a victory lap around the buffet table - hilarious! The next ship's crew has a lot to live up to!

The banks of the Danube have broken in some places and so the roads have been closed which means that our plan of coaching along the river is replaced with plan B - take the high road. So we headed inland in search of higher ground - it's like "Man Vs Wild"! and into the outskirts of Vienna. We reached the peak of the mountain and it was FREEZING! I'm talking a wind chill factor of like - 0 degrees. From there we headed for Melk where hour by hour and layer by layer everyone stripped down to the bare essentials - it was the beginning of the German heatwave we'd heard about. We now have blue skies and no rain = yeehah!




xxx